Sunday, May 3, 2009

Stupid Movie, but I still love Gambit...

Gambit © Marvel Comics
By Color Breen

So I saw the crap-fest called Wolverine. If you wanna know what I thought of it, you need to re-read my first sentence again. Yeah, I didn't like it. But, "Corey," you say, "how can you not like it, it had your favorite X-Man, Gambit. And you love Wolverine and the X-Men, too..." Well, just seeing these characters on the big screen is just NOT enough anymore. Yeah, it's cool to see comic books characters that I loved growing up, in movies, but we are so used to that now; the movie has to be good! And Wolverine just wasn't.

Hugh Jackman is a great Wolverine, don't get me wrong. He looks the part and it doesn't come across as lame when he plays it, which it easily could. But in this movie, it was all just fluff. He was not the bad-a$$ Wolverine us comic fans know and love. He was, quiet frankly, a pansy. At times, the fight scenes were cool and "action-packed", but then they ended so quickly and abruptly, it was hard to get into them. Wolverine was about as exciting as an old episode of

The plot twists were actually my favorite part of the movie, although they were just thrown in there to have the main character do something besides run around naked. I liked the way they tied together his origin, but they did it so quickly, and carefree, that it wasn't the focus of the movie. I got the sense that it could have been so much cooler, had they treated the material more seriously. My point being, that they failed to tell Wolverine's ORIGIN!

I refer back to Barry Winsler Smith's Weapon X tale in Marvel Comics Presents back in the 80's. How AMAZING was that? It made Wolverine creepy, and mysterious, and for 20 years after that, it made readers clamor for his REAL origin. How and why was he experimented on, and why were his memories erased. The movie made nothing out of all those nice aspects of the comics. They included aspects of the really cool Jenkin's/ Kubert/ Quesada Origin comics, and stuff like Silverstri's Wolverine #50. But it was NOT the comics come to life. No suspense. No horror or creepiness. I mean, come on! Where's the mad scientist aspect of the character?! WEAK!

The movie was a mess; boring, and pointless. Totally pointless. Gambit was cool, yes, for the five seconds he's in the movie. He did absolutely nothing in the movie, and I hated that he was there in the end. It made no sense. The way Wolverine loses his memories is retarded, and just dumb writing. All the other characters they show too, are just lame and have nothing to do in this movie. Deadpool was a great effect, and fight scene; but an after-thought. It was too predictable in the sense that there was no threat what-so-ever. Wolverine was just a patsy and got played the entire movie, so you knew Deadpool would just be a quick fight scene, just cause they had to have him DO something in the end.

I HATE that the movie made 85 million dollars this past weekend the MOST! Now they will call this movie a "success". To me, it was an utter failure. They made Wolverine a wussy, and now they will make a sequel to this stupid movie, instead of just giving the rights back to Marvel Studios because it bombed so badly. If it had bombed, maybe they be like, "oh, ok, we tried, here's Wolverine and the X-Men back so you can make a good movie, Marvel". Now if Spider-Man 4 is terrible (AGAIN), it's just gonna be more of the same with the two franchises. I wish it could all be given back to Marvel, re-booted or something under their studios, so that can make something like Iron-Man, and then tie them all together like they want to.

Well, I ranted for a long time on this one. I still love Gambit though. And Wolverine (even though he sucks in the comics for the past five years too). So who cares, really. The real kick a$$ wolverine movie is much better in my head and in my dreams, so at least I have that.

Lastly, why do I have the feeling that I will be repeating this review in August when I will just replace the words Wolverine, with GI Joe?! Ugh... At least I have Transformers II, Harry Potter, and Terminator 4 to look forward too. Oh- and Star Trek and Green Lantern Cartoon DVD to look forward too. And Angels and Demons, of coarse. Wow, look at that, I forgot all about Wolverine already. Nice!


PS- I did finish my Project Rooftop Entry for the re-design of Wolverine. I will be turning it in on Monday, after I get some final thoughts form my coworkers to see if I should tweak anything on it. I now have three things I have to show you soon, so DON'T let me forget.

1. Green Lantern Spread (coming this week)
2. JLA/ Rittenhouse Archive Cards (coming in July)
3. Project Rooftop Wolverine Re-Design (coming soon)


MitchyMitchyMitchy said...

I was afraid of this, which is why I have not seen it and am not sure if I will until dvd. So sad.

The source material is all there, just reprint it! As we saw with Watchmen, just tell the stories in the comics and let us enjoy.

Too bad Hollywood has to stick their big toe in everything and try to make it "better"

Corey Breen said...

Yea, if you want to see a GOOD movie this weekend, check out the Hunt for Gollum Movie at: